Don't Get Stuck On Stupid

IMVU Filled With Stupid People.. and then some

2011-04-28T11:12:00.004-04:00

Since the mid/late 1980's I've been running online chat rooms as a hobby, starting out on a 386 computer using MajorBBS software, a rack of 14.4 dialup modems/digiboard, Procomm Plus running community Bulletin Board Systems.

The 1990's were fun.. enter the world of Internet Relay Chat (IRC) where I ran an IRC Server for an IRC Network. Fun and exciting times. Lots of laughs, and made great friends.

It's the year 2011 and enter the world of 3D chat on IMVU.com. I have never in my entire online life combined, seen more pathetic people in my entire life in one collective as I have on IMVU.com.

Word to the wise: Do NOT join IMVU.com. You are simply wasting your time and money. Had I known then what I know now, I would have never joined. The product is great, the management sucks raw eggs, the users are simply pathetic. Less than .5% of the people I've met there online are real.

The true friends I've met there, will agree.

More Of Christmas Edition: Americas Funniest Videos

2010-12-11T17:43:00.001-05:00

Can't get enough of these...!

Christmas Edition: Americas Funniest Home Videos

2010-12-10T01:26:00.003-05:00

10 min. of people getting caught in stupid, yet funny, situations during the holidays. Enjoy the laughs!

Holidays + Holiday Parties = Don't Drink And Drive

2010-12-08T05:02:00.002-05:00

It's the Holidays and with that comes lots of Holiday parties. Drink responsibly. Don't drink and drive! Don't get stuck on stupid... You could end up on YouTube!

Christmas With Larry The Cable Guy

2010-12-06T19:11:00.002-05:00

Nothing like starting the Holidays off with Larry the Cable Guy!

Va. lawmaker claims TSA pat-downs part of 'homosexual agenda'

2010-12-02T08:52:00.002-05:00

Just when you thought this topic was finally over....

Eugene Delgaudio, a Republican representing Sterling, VA on the Loudoun County Board of Supervisors, made the comments in a widely distributed e-mail sent in his capacity as president of the conservative nonprofit Public Advocate of the United States.

the TSA's non-discrimination hiring policy is "the federal employee's version of the Gay Bill of Special rights."

"That means the next TSA official that gives you an enhanced pat-down could be a practicing homosexual secretly getting pleasure from your submission,"

For the complete story visit wtopnews.com

RIP Leslie Nielsen -- Thanks For The Laughs

2010-11-29T20:01:00.002-05:00

Sarah Palin On Foreign Policy

2010-11-28T04:10:00.002-05:00

"But obviously, we've got to stand with our North Korean allies." --Sarah Palin,

after being asked how she would handle the current hostilities between the two Koreas, interview on Glenn Beck's radio show, Nov. 24, 2010

I sat next to her once. Thought she was beautiful, And she’s very happy in Alaska, and I hope she’ll stay there . -- Former first lady Barbara Bush

Shoplifter Thought He Could Bypass US Marines In The Process

2010-11-27T07:16:00.006-05:00

A shoplifter at Best Buy at Augusta, Georgia who brandished a knife broke free from store security had to clear one other obsticle he faced: US Marines on duty in dress blues standing in the breezeway collecting toys for Toys for Tots.

In the process of catching the fleeing shoplifter, Cpl. Phillip Duggan, 24, suffered a single stab wound. He was treated and released from the hospital later Friday, Sgt. Dan Carrier of the Richmond County Sheriff's Office said. "He's doing fine."

Tracey Attaway, 39, was in custody Friday night and was charged with armed robbery, aggravated assault and possession of a knife during the commission of a crime, authorities said.

Head on over to CNN.com for the complete story.

Lesson Learned: If you're going to stupid enough to shoplift, make sure there are no US Marines on duty around. Tracey Attaway simply got Stuck on Stupid.

Black Friday: Let The Festivities Begin

2010-11-26T01:55:00.003-05:00

Option A (Friday):

Option B (Monday):

Happy Thanksgiving!

2010-11-25T13:16:00.002-05:00

OK the parade is over.. the Holiday Season has officially begun!

Im Not Making This Up

2010-11-24T04:32:00.000-05:00

How can someone be so stupid? See for yourself...

Black Friday - Be Prepared

2010-11-23T15:56:00.004-05:00

It's almost here! Prepare yourself...and try not to get stuck on stupid!

After all, shopping is NOT supposed to be a contact sport.

"Miss Me Yet?" - GW Bush

2010-11-22T21:06:00.006-05:00

Yes George, We Miss You...

(for the obvious reasons..)

Happy Thanksgiving - Sarah Palin Style

2010-11-21T19:52:00.002-05:00

Who could forget this memorable Sarah Palin moment?

Funny Thanksgiving Videos

2010-11-20T22:59:00.005-05:00

Don't get stuck on stupid this Thanksgiving.. listen up:

John McCain: Permanently Stuck On Stupid

2010-11-20T16:03:00.004-05:00

Jon Stewart of the Daily Show does a great job highlighting this.

Simply watch the video

And if that doesn't convince you, from ThinkProgress.org: McCain’s Top 11 Positions On Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell

I simply can't believe we're spending millions, if not billions, of dollars on this simply because the miliary, who are supposed to be professionals and who are trained to kill, doesn't want anyone to see their little pee pee.

Praise for standing up to stupidity

2010-11-20T14:29:00.004-05:00

It's not often I'm given the opprotunity to give praise for someone confronting stupidity. In this case, it's TWO indivuals.

Jay McDowell, a teacher in Howell, Michigan, was temporarily suspended without pay earlier this month after telling a student wearing a Confederate flag and a student making anti-gay remarks to get out of his class.

At a school-board meeting on Friday, openly gay 14-year-old high-school student Graeme Taylor came to McDowell's defense, thanking the teacher for doing "an amazing thing" in a town home to the KKK, and urging the school board to give McDowell his pay and reverse the disciplinary actions. The inspiring video has made its way around the Internet, because how cool is this kid?

Fourteen-Year-Old Michigan Student Awesomely Stands Up for Suspended, Gay-Defending Teacher

Google News: Jay McDowell

Well it's that time of year again...

2010-11-20T00:09:00.007-05:00

This morning while at 7-11 getting my coffee and smokes, I noticed a new display of egg nog next to the milk. Then I got into my truck to head to work and turned on WASH 94.7 and discovered that this morning they began their non-stop all Christmas music marathon thru till the end of Christmas, and tonite when heading out to McD's for an all american dinner, accross the street was a balcony all lit up and a Christmas tree in the patio door all decorated and lit.

So with that, what the hell, enjoy the video...

Don't Ask Don't Tell - Is the end near?

2010-11-17T23:18:00.004-05:00

I certainly hope so.‎

"During the work period following the Thanksgiving holidays, I will bring the Defense Authorization bill to the floor, including a repeal of 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell.' Our Defense Department supports repealing 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' as a way to build our all-volunteer armed forces. We need to repeal this discriminatory policy so that any American who wants to defend our country can do so." - Harry Reid

My Monthly Pilgramige to Walmart

2010-11-14T00:01:00.014-05:00

Saturday night, I drove down to the local Walmart. I like to get there after the crowds have died down. I didn't have much to get, just some parrot food for Odie, my 24 year old blue front amazon. Shopping at Walmart is quite an experience if you like to observe people in their natural habitat. One doesn't need to get dressed up to go there, it's a total come as you are atmosphere, which makes people watching all that more entertaining. You literally see it all.

As usual, the lines were long, but not as bad as they normally are, and I thought to myself, no problem, I only have 2 items. Besides, this line was shorter than the self-checkout line. Then it happened. The unthinkable (and I simply reminded myself I was in Walmart). From out of nowhere, emitting from the person standing in front of me, came that all too familiar sound we hear when normally we're all alone. Yes, it was Flatulence. The Big Stinky. To cut the cheese. To let one rip. Naturally, people started looking in amazement in my direction, after all, I stand 6'5" and the first person people usually notice. I'm not the one who is going to take the blame for this one, so what do I do? I simply started pointing at the offender.

Don't let yourself get stuck on stupid for someone elses misfortune. Simply give credit where credit is due.

Good Ole 'Dear Abby' hits one out of the ballpark

2010-11-13T00:14:00.005-05:00

Awhile ago, "Dear Abby" responded to a reader who complained that a gay couple was moving in across the street and wanted to know what he could do to improve the quality of the neighborhood.

"You could move." — Abigail Van Buren

VETERANS DAY GAFFE: 'Garfield' creator Jim Davis apologizes for 'Stupid Day' gag

2010-11-12T10:42:00.003-05:00

By Michael Cavna
WashingtonPost.com (with the cartoon/links)

It's one of the perils of working months ahead, a cursed confluence that has befallen many a syndicated strip cartoonist. But it's especially unfortunate when it occurs on a date as poignantly important as Veterans Day.

Real-world events -- from headlines to holidays -- can skew a cartoon for the worse. A particularly lamentable example: Today's "Garfield" makes a joke about "National Stupid Day" that some readers are taking offense at, viewing it as disrespectful toward veterans.

Pained by the mistiming, "Garfield" creator Jim Davis has issued this apology on Garfield.com and elsewhere:

Dear Friends, Fans and Veterans:

In what has to be the worst timing ever, the strip that runs in today's paper seems to be making a statement about Veterans. It absolutely, positively has nothing to do with this important day of remembrance.

Regarding today's Garfield comic strip , it was written almost a year ago and I had no idea when writing it that it would appear today -- of all days. I do not use a calendar that lists holidays and other notable days so when this strip was put in the queue, I had no idea it would run on Veterans Day. What are the odds? You can bet I'll have a calendar that lists everything by my side in the future.

My brother Dave served in Vietnam. My son James is a Marine who has had two tours of duty, both in Iraq and Afghanistan. You'd have to go a long way to find someone who was more proud and grateful for what our Veterans have done for all of us.

Please accept my apologies for any offense today's Garfield may have created. It was unintentional and regrettable.

Happy Veterans Day 2010

2010-11-10T21:56:00.000-05:00

Thank you for your service.

Man Calls Police To Complain About “Bad Quality” Pot

2010-11-09T18:57:00.001-05:00

Written by: James Johnson
IndyPosted

Stupid criminals brighten up our day and in the case of one Pennsylvania man they don’t get much more dumb.

A 21-year-old man called 911 this past week to complain that the marijuana he had purchased from a local dealer was of bad quality and tasted “nasty.”

When officers arrived at the man’s home they field tested the “pot” and found out it wasn’t actually marijuana at all.

If that isn’t bad enough for the would be criminal, he could face the charge of “possessing a counterfeit controlled substance.”

Could you imagine being charged with trying to smoke oregano?

Don't Ask Don't Tell - Know the facts

2010-11-08T18:43:00.013-05:00

Dr. Aaron Belkin, Director of the Palm Center, and one of the leading experts on DADT, addresses this often heated topic in a lecture at the US Air Force Academy. He addresses facts, combined with scientific research, and clearly calls out the hate, intolorence, and bigotry gays/lesbians currently face in the military.

Don't get stuck on stupid when you don't know all the facts behind this topic. Be educated. Watch the videos and learn. Don't be afraid...you won't turn gay by watching it. Stick around for the Q&A period following. They could address the the same question(s) you have...

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Further Reading:

Palm Center

American Psychological Association: Sexual Orientation and Military Service Briefing Sheet

Servicemembers Legal Defense Network

Amazon.com: Unfriendly Fire: How the Gay Ban Undermines the Military and Weakens America by Dr. Nathaniel Frank

Bigots, Homophobes, and Cowards. Confront them.

2010-11-08T01:23:00.024-05:00

Here is a good example of how it's done....

STUPID CRIMINALS: Man Wearing Breathalyzer Costume Arrested For DUI (PHOTO)

2010-11-07T23:25:00.001-05:00

From HuffingtonPost.com (with photo)

It doesn't get much more ironic than this. A 19-year-old Nebraska native was arrested this week for drunk driving -- while wearing one of those cheeky "blow here" breathalyzer machine costumes. Matthew Nieveen was brought up om DUI and underage alcohol possession charges while wearing the less-than-tasteful Halloween costume. While most people did their partying the Saturday night before Halloween, police arrested Nieveen in his costume after finding him driving erratically on Monday morning.

I've been away... I'm back.

2010-11-07T23:10:00.003-05:00

Since I've been away, it's been a learning experience, to say the least.

I'll take the blame when it's my fault
Get knocked down and stand up tall
Screamin', "Bring it on, I ain't scared!"
Never gone out of my way or acted fake
To impress anyone and that's okay
Sometimes I'm too proud, too loud
What you get is what you see
I've been called it all from bad news to a crazy S.O.B.
But I've always been me

Artist: Josh Thompson
Song: Always Been Me
Album: Way Out Here

The George W. Bush Presidential Library

2008-07-14T18:13:00.004-04:00

The George W Bush Presidential Library is now in the planning stages.

The Library will include:

The Hurricane Katrina Room, which is still under construction.

The Alberto Gonzales Room, where you won't be able to remember
anything.

The Texas Air National Guard Room, where you don't even have to show
up.

The Walter Reed Hospital Room, where they don't let you in.

The Guantanamo Bay Room, where they don't let you out.

The Weapons of Mass Destruction Room, which no one has been able to
find.

The National Debt Room, which is huge and has no ceiling.

The Tax Cut Room, with entry only to the wealthy.

The Economy Room, which is in the toilet.

The Iraq War Room. (After you complete your first tour, they make you
to go back for a second, third, fourth, and sometimes fifth tour.)

The Dick Cheney Room, in the famous undisclosed location, complete
with shotgun gallery.

The Environmental Conservation Room, still empty.

The Supremes Gift Shop, where you can buy an election.

The Airport Men's Room, where you can meet some of your favorite
Republican Senators.

The Decider Room, complete with dart board, magic 8-ball, Ouija board,
dice, coins, and straws.

Note: The museum will feature an electron microscope to help you
locate and view the President's accomplishments.

Male Restroom Ediquitte

2007-08-30T21:47:00.000-04:00

A MUST SEE!!!! Too late for Sen. Larry Craig

New Band: Toilet Room Larry and the urinal cakes

2007-08-29T18:07:00.000-04:00

Senator, Senator, Senator.... If you're dumb enuf to use the "secret code" of hand and foot signals in a public restroom (beit a train station or airport or department store), you have to pay the price of living in the closet should you get busted. I really feel sorry for those who live in the closet like this and live a make believe world that they're in fact, "straight". Sure, you can say you're "not gay" all you want, it is because you haven't come to terms with that fact and you live your so-called "straight life" with the beard (the wife who takes the role to cover up your gayness) and have the white picket fense, yet when you go to work, you make laws condeming the very community you try so hard to avoid. We have a word for that, a hypocrite! I'm glad you got busted, but it also gives the straight community the personna that all gay men do this patheteic way of having sex. and that's simply wrong.

Airline Ticket Agent Stories

2007-08-03T20:49:00.000-04:00

A Washington DC, airport ticket agent offers some examples of why our country is in trouble!

1 I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window (On an airplane!)

2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to Cape Town.

I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look

stupid, but Cape Town is in "Massachusetts". Without trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in, Massachusetts, Cape Town is in Africa "Her response - click.

3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!" (OMG)

4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." She said, "But they look so close on the map." (OMG, again!)

5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas? When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time." (Ahhhh)

6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 am and got to Chicago at 8:33 am. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.

7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?" I said," No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight."I think that's very rude!" After putting her on hold for a minute while I looked into it (I was laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, CA is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"

9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them."

10. A lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?" I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever, smarty!"

11. A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!"

12. A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York." I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the lady.

After some searching, I came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere." The lady retorted, "Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?"

The reply? "Whatever! I knew it was a big animal."

BUMP! > I just wanna fucking dance!

2007-07-13T17:42:00.000-04:00

BUMP from a previous post: Can you name all the musicals/movies?? (turn up your speakers!)

OK, now for this version...!

I Just Wanna Dance by WonderRobbie

Man arrives at wedding year early

2007-07-13T17:40:00.000-04:00

LONDON, England (Reuters) -- Teacher Dave Barclay flew thousands of miles across the Atlantic to Wales to attend his friend's wedding, only to discover he was a year early.

Barclay, 34, was told about the wedding earlier in the year and assumed it was to take place in 2007.

It was only when he had flown into Cardiff from Toronto, Canada, and rang the bridegroom seeking details of the venue that he discovered the wedding was in 2008.

"I am a year early -- yeah, my mates are loving it, aren't they," he told BBC Radio Wales.

The groom, Dave Best, had emailed his friend at the start of the year.

"He just said July the 6th and I assumed it was this year because if you tell the guy July 6th, they're going to think it's this year," Barclay said.

Barclay, who has been teaching in Toronto for three years spent £500 ($1,015) on his premature flight.

"At least it's assured me a mention in the speech next year," he added.

Man falls off balcony in spitting contest

2007-06-06T13:01:00.000-04:00

BERLIN (Reuters) - A 43-year-old German man was taken to hospital in
critical condition after he fell off a second storey balcony during a spitting
contest with his 12-year-old son, police said Friday.

A spokesman for the police in the eastern town of Cottbus said the man
in Forst had apparently lost his balance after thrusting too far forward in his
attempt to outspit his son.

"Imagine" Tour - Olympia WA

2007-05-10T16:51:00.000-04:00

12 years ago, just Imagine being a mother whose 17 year old son commits suicide a month after he's gaybashed for being bisexual. That's all explained in Gabi's Story. (highly recommended reading to fully appreciate this story). It got the attention of George Michael and Kenny Goss who owns the famous John Lennon 'Imagine' piano.

Imagine being the Internet's oldest blogger, singer-songwriter, Steve Schalchlin of BonusRound.com fame, gets asked by Gabi Clayton and the Imagine Piano Tour to play "Imagine" by John Lennon on the very piano it was written on in the front lawn of Gabi Clayton's house and in her dining room for the anniv. of her sons death.

Yes, this just recently happened this week. Read about this experience on both Steve's Blog and Gabi's Blog

Imagine. (Photos) Imagine: Lennon's piano on a peace tour

I'm proud to call both Gabi and Steve friends of mine, please visit their blogs for further reading.

Im Still Around

2007-03-29T16:15:00.000-04:00

It's been awhile since I blogged, I'm still around, just nothing exciting to blog about lately.

G.W.B. is at it again. Below is his latest ideas to make America better.

1. The waterproof towel
2. Solar-powered flashlight
3. A submarine screen door
4. A book on how to read
5. Inflatable dartboard
6. A dictionary index
7. Ejector seat in a helicopter
8. Powdered water
9. Pedal-powered wheelchair
10. The waterproof tea bag

Funny Videos: Stupid Karate Expert

2007-01-19T08:14:00.000-05:00


Funny Videos: Stupid Karate Expert - This so called master gets owned by a piece of wood.

Dog...? What dog?

2007-01-16T13:34:00.000-05:00

From the humor bag...

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my dog Lola and was in line to checkout.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........ Duh!

I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I had awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

Her eyes about bugged out of her head.

I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it.

I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry .

The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital.

I said no........I'd been sitting in the street licking my ass when a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.

From the 2006 Darwin Awards

2007-01-03T15:51:00.000-05:00

Hammer of Doom
2006 Darwin Award Nominee
Confirmed True by Darwin

(August 2006, Brazil) August brings us a winner from Brazil, who tried to disassemble a Rocket Propelled Grenade (RPG) by driving back and forth over it with a car. This technique was ineffective, so he escalated to pounding the RPG with a sledgehammer. The second try worked--in a sense. The explosion proved fatal to one man, six cars, and the repair shop wherein the efforts took place.
14 more RPG grenades were found in a car parked nearby. Police believe the ammunition was being scavenged to sell as scrap metal. If it wasn't scrap then, it certainly is now!

5 Submissions

(2006, Vietnam) In a similar event, a Rolling Stone isn't all that gathers no moss. Three men scavenging for scrap metal found an unexploded 500-pound bomb perched on a hill, and decided to retrieve it with help from Sir Isaac Newton. As they rolled the bomb down the hillside according to the laws of gravity, the bomb detonated, leaving a four-meter crater and sending the three entrepreneurs to a face-to-face meeting with their Maker.

High on Life
2006 Darwin Award Nominee
Confirmed True by Darwin
Take a deep breath...

(3 June 2006, Florida) Two more candidates have thrown themselves into the running for a Darwin Award. The feet of Jason and Sara, both 21, were found protruding from a deflated, huge helium advertising balloon. Jason was a college student, and Sara attended community college, but apparently their education had glossed over the importance of oxygen.

The pair pulled down the 8' balloon, and climbed inside. Their last words consisted of high-pitched, incoherent giggling as they slowly passed out and passed into the hereafter.

Sheriff's deputies said the two were not victims of foul play. No drugs or alcohol were found. The medical examiner reported that helium inhalation was a significant factor in their deaths. A family member said "Sara was mischievous, to be honest. She liked fun and it cost her."

Laugh Practice: BE the Fruitcake

2006-12-08T08:17:00.000-05:00


Laughter leader Beth Agnew invites you to BE the fruitcake and laugh your stress away this holiday season.

Parking Lots at shopping centers.

2006-12-07T08:00:00.000-05:00

Ok, its the holiday season. This means that once you enter a parking lot all bets are off. It's everyone out for themselves. People will do ANY_thing to get a parking space as close to the door as possible, and this includes running over people, or playing bumper cars with the shopping carts that lazy people have left behind in a parking slot. Including ramming a cart into the side of another parked car, just so they can park as close to the door as possible.

Simple way to avoid all this is park at the very first spot you come to, even if its on the back row of the parking lot and walk.

Then you can play the game of fumbling for your keys and watch the slow patrol of cars thinking you are walking towards your car at the front of the parking lot. Have fun with this... get a few cars to follow you, suddenly look up and go over to the next row pretending you spot your car. Repeat as often as necessary.

Glue. It either sicks or it doesn't.

2006-11-23T08:22:00.000-05:00

Why is it that companies use two types of glue... those that stick like cement and those that don't? A good example... You try and open the top off of certain packages and the compressed air within suddenly exploads the bottom out of your (cereal) and its now all over the floor. Some packaging does require sizzors to open.

Why don't they just use the same glue on both ends?

And another thing...

Why can't they make larger sugar envelope packages? I'm tired of opening 8 at 7-11 when I get coffee.. Why can't I just open 2? (note, the glue rule doesn't apply here)

Stupid game show answers

2006-11-01T08:47:00.000-05:00


Some of the best stupind and funny game show responses of all time.

Down to the wire

2006-11-01T07:32:00.000-05:00

Days before the elections, with the GOP shitting bricks, this has GOT to be one of the worst campaign years I can remember. I just cant stand negative campaign ads. It shows you the true colors of those we're supposed to be electing to represent US - you and me. In any event, may the best man (or woman) win, and the loosers (we know who they'll be already ::cough::macacca::cough::) can go to hell in a handbasket.

In any event, I'm wondering which chineese food restaurant will feature Lame Duck on the menu first.

Gentler ways to say someone is stupid

2006-10-11T08:02:00.000-04:00

We all have our favorites... if your's isnt listed, add them in the comments section!

Strong, like a Bear... Smart, like a Tractor.
She's sharp as a marble!
The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.
A few clowns short of a circus.
A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
A few beers short of a sixpack.
Dumber than a box of hair.
A few peas short of a casserole.
Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box.
One Froot Loop shy of a full bowl.
One taco short of a combination plate.
A few feathers short of a whole duck.
All foam, no beer.
The cheese slid off his cracker.
Body by Fisher brains by Mattel.
Has an IQ of 2, and it takes 3 to grunt.
Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
An intellect rivaled only by that of garden tools.
As smart as bait.
Chimney's clogged.
Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair.
Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
Forgot to pay his brain bill.
Her sewing machine's out of thread.
His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
If he had another brain, it would be lonely.
Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
No grain in the silo.
Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
Receiver is off the hook.
Several nuts short of a full pouch.
Skylight leaks a little.
Slinky's kinked.
Surfing in Nebraska.
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer
Not the brightest light on the Christmas Tree.
Won't be sending a resume to NASA.

Male Restroom Etiquette

2006-10-01T13:52:00.000-04:00

A must-see for every guy...

The Sheriff of Gay Washington

2006-09-30T21:56:00.000-04:00

Sgt. Brett Parson commands the Metropolitan Police Department's Gay and Lesbian Liaison Unit, the only unit of its kind in the country to offer community outreach services and to perform traditional police work.

I had the distinct honor and pleasure of working with Brett and the DC GLLU in his first 3 years when he took over. Got him online and up to where he needed to be, and i loved volunteering as community outreach with the GLLU. He's one of the best cops, and a total asset to the DC GLBT Community.

I Just Wanna Fuckin Dance

2006-09-30T21:06:00.000-04:00

Can you name all the musicals/movies?? (turn up your speakers!)

OK, now for this version...!

I Just Wanna Dance by WonderRobbie

Stupid 9/11 Conspiracy Theories

2006-09-30T20:42:00.000-04:00


Penn & Teller call BULLSHIT! on factually unsound 9/11 conspiracy claims. (see below)

Stupid People, part 1

2006-09-30T20:36:00.000-04:00


Stupid people doing stupid things, part 1. Do not try these at home!

911 Cover Up

2006-09-21T15:45:00.000-04:00


Loose Change 2nd Edition - Korey Rowe / Dylan Avery / Jason Bermas

Beer Stand

2006-08-28T13:10:00.000-04:00

Internetaholics Annonymous

2006-08-28T13:02:00.000-04:00

Hello, your name was given to me by a friend or family member who is concerned about your internet addiction. At Internetaholics Anonymous, we can help.

Yes, you--we're talking to you. You, looking at this screen for hours on end, online. You, bleary eyed. You, an addict. Have you looked in the mirror lately? Been outside? Know what day of the week it is? Have you checked downstairs to see if your family still lives with you?

We're a non-profit society of recovering addicts like yourself that provides support and counselling through weekly (off-line) meetings designed to help you cope with your problem.

We feature a twelve-step recovery program and in extreme cases, interventions. Although it is our firm belief that you are never "cured," you most certainly can recover.

We have designed a brief checklist to determine if you are an addict. Do you:

1) Have twitches of the hand when you walk by your terminal?

2) Check e-mail more than five times a day?

3) Spend more time chatting than eating or sleeping?

4) Surf aimlessly with no direction, if only to be online?

5) Leave your name and information at countless sites if only to hope you'll receive a reply one day from a company you'll never do business with anyway?

6) Log on before important personal habits, such as meal preparation, hygiene or bodily functions?

7) Have red, swollen eyes that hang halfway out of your head?

8) Spend hours online on a holiday from work, where you'd usually be griping about your carpal tunnel syndrome?

9) See smoke arising from your computer or WebTV box?

10) All of the above?

If you answered yes to four or more questions (or chose #10), you have a problem. Please call us at Internetaholics Anonymous at:

1-800-LOGOFFNOWFORPETE'SSAKE

We're here, we're free, and we're confidential. The first step to recovery is admission that you have a problem.

Call us today. That is, if you can power off to free up your phone line.

Who's Your Daddy...?

2006-08-27T17:46:00.000-04:00

The following are all replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing "father's details;" or putting it another way...Who's yo Daddy? These are genuine excerpts from the forms. Be sure to check out ..11. It takes 1st prize and ..3 is runner up

1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was fathered by Jim Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.

2. I am unsure, as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 3600 East Grand Boulevard where I had unprotected sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you send me his phone number? Thanks.

4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced.

5. I have never had sex with a man. I am still a Virginian. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was ejaculate and that he is the Saver risen again.

6. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by thec ountry. Please advise.

7. I do not know who the father of my child was as all blacks look the same to me.

8. Peter Smith Is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him, can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs? Child B who was also borned at the same time...well, I don't have clue.

9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney World; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom .

10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I had stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 8956 Miller Ave , mine might have remained unfertilized.

11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all, like when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.

Yep, you guessed it right - you are all paying taxes to support these dimwits !!!

You know anybody who needs an "anti-stupid" pill?

2006-08-07T13:20:00.000-04:00

BERLIN (Reuters) - A German scientist has been testing an "anti-stupidity" pill with encouraging results on mice and fruit flies, Bild newspaper reported Saturday.

It said Hans-Hilger Ropers, director at Max-Planck-Institute for Molecular Genetics in Berlin, has tested a pill thwarting hyperactivity in certain brain nerve cells, helping stabilize short-term memory and improve attentiveness.

"With mice and fruit flies we were able to eliminate the loss of short-term memory," Ropers, 62, is quoted saying in the German newspaper, which has dubbed it the "world's first anti-stupidity pill."

The Top 10 Unintentionally Worst Company URLs

2006-08-04T16:47:00.000-04:00

Everyone knows that if you are going to operate a business in today's world you need a domain name. It is advisable to look at the domain name selected as other see it and not just as you think it looks. Failure to do this may result in situations such as the following (legitimate) companies who deal in everyday humdrum products and services but clearly didn't give their domain names enough consideration:

1. At a site called 'Who Represents' you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name... wait for it... is
www.whorepresents.com

2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at
www.expertsexchange.com

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at
www.penisland.net

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at
www.therapistfinder.com

5. Then of course, there's the Italian Power Generator company...
www.powergenitalia.com

6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales:
www.molestationnursery.com

7. If you're looking for computer software, there's always
www.ipanywhere.com

8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church. Their website is
www.cummingfirst.com

9. Then, of course, there's these brainless art designers, and their whacky website:
www.speedofart.com

10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at
www.gotahoe.com

Idiots of 2005

2006-08-02T16:40:00.000-04:00

Number One Idiot of 2005

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in oxicology
at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset
because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants.
I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.

Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.

Number Two Idiot of 2005

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided
to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in
getting it out of the plane and home.
Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed
a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them.
It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency
locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated.
They are no longer employed at Boeing.

Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.

Number Three Idiot of 2005
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into
the Branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this
bag."

While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he
began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said,"OK"and left.
He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back
at Bank of America.

Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.

Number Four Idiot of 2005

A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car.
Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40.
Several days later, he received a letter from the police that
contained another picture, this time of handcuffs.
He immediately mailed in his $40.

Smartass... but you still get a sign

Number Five Idiot of 2005

A guy ! walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer.
After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of
Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the
cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and
said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he
was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she
didn't believe him.
At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet
and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that
the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag. The
robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

This guy definitely needs a sign.

Idiot Number Six of 2005

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers.
The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved,
the startled first bandit shot him.

This guy doesn't even deserve a sign

Idiot Number Seven of 2005

Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly.
He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through aliquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious.
It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass.
The whole event was caught on videotape.

Yep, Here's your sign

(Please note that all of the above people are allowed to vote)

Hot enough for ya? THINK AGAIN!

2006-08-02T16:06:00.000-04:00

While everyone in the US is bitching about how hot it is.. think about our Men and Women in uniform with ## pounds of extra gear currently serving in Iraq.... We're STILL in the shade as far as they're concerned.

Heat injury a factor as mercury rises in Iraq
by Cpl. Jon Guibord
I Marine Expeditionary Force

CAMP FALLUJAH, Iraq (April 4, 2006) -- Outdoor temperatures sore above 130 degrees Fahrenheit during the summer months here, so personnel will need to take proper precautions in order to keep themselves from falling victim to the dangerous side effects of heat injury.

Everyone is susceptible to a heat injury. Luckily there are multiple steps that can be taken to prevent the potentially lethal threat from striking.

"A lot of people have the misconception that all you have to do is drink a lot of water or Gatorade," said the leading petty officer of the I Marine Expeditionary Force Headquarters Group Aid Station, Petty Officer 1st class Virginia M. Mayo.

According to Mayo, your body uses a mixture of water, electrolytes and sodium to maintain and without a good mixture of all of them you can still become a victim of heat casualty.

There are several different types of heat injury. The first and most common are heat cramps, which occurs when your body has an insufficient amount of salt.

"You probably have enough water, but not enough salt intake," said Mayo, of New Port Richey, Fla.

Heat cramps usually go away whether you do anything or not. Drinking a product such as Gatorade can also assist in the healing process.

The second type of heat injury is heat exhaustion. Heat exhaustion is the body's inability to supply the increased blood volume needed by the brain, skin and the muscles in extreme heat. This results in dizziness, weakness, and fainting.

The third and most dangerous heat injury is heat stroke.

"Heat stroke is when your body's core temperature reaches above a certain limit, roughly 106 degrees," said Mayo. "Your brain begins to fry, causing possible brain damage or death."

It doesn't take a corpsman to treat heat injuries. If someone shows symptoms of heat injury, the first step is to move them to a cool area. Remove clothing to allow the body to release some of the heat. Pour a small amount of water on their head to reduce the core temperature. The person should then be seen by a medical professional so they may get a core temperature to ensure heat stroke is not occurring. This process of checking the core temperature rectally is referred to as receiving a "silver bullet," among Marines and sailors.

There are several telltale signs if some one is suffering from a heat injury.

"Marines usually complain that they feel hung over, but they didn't have the fun the night before to cause it," said Mayo, who has been a corpsman for seven and a half years.

Other indicators of heat injury include generalized weakness, headache, dizziness, low blood pressure, elevated pulse, and temperature elevation.

There are several preventive measures to reduce the risk of heat injury. There are numerous water bottles located around the camp, three square meals a day are available and enough opportunity to get the proper amount of sleep, but it is up to the individual athlete to ensure their body is prepared for strenuous activity in the heat.

Hotdogs for Homophobes

2006-07-19T18:36:00.000-04:00

It's summer time, and you know what that means..! Bar-B-Ques with the neighbors! Be sure to have your Hotdogs for Homophobes ready should the need arise!

Im still around!

2006-07-16T22:07:00.000-04:00

I've been working on a new web portal for the Beirut Veterans: BeirutEClub.com. Features news about Beirut/Veterans (lots happening over there right now, huh...), also lots of games and discussion forums.

Superman Returns - (woah! and does he ever!)

2006-07-03T00:52:00.000-04:00

I saw this movie earlier today. While watching the movie, DC had one hell of a thunderstorm roll thru, and I totally missed it. Definately go see this... I enjoyed it! (Defiantely easy on the eyes the entire movie....)

(the best pic of Brandon Routh shirtless I could find...oh, and click on it :)

Phelps Klan - TOTALLY Stuck on Stupid

2006-06-21T19:38:00.000-04:00

Oh this is rich. Totally called for. Watch how FOX News's Julie Banderas loses it as Shirley Phelps-Roper (of godhatesfags.com) proclaims the word of God to a nation laden with sin.

Leviticus 19:17-18 reads (the whole verse as it was intent to be read):

17) Do not hate your brother in your heart. Rebuke your brother frankly so you will not share his guilt.
18) Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.

Last time I checked, the Bible isn't on the cafeteria plan -- Shirley Phelps is totally misquoting it, mangling or picking pieces out to 'justify' her hate mongering and it won't work with those who know the Bible and it certainly won't work with God!

Pentagon memo: Homosexuality a disorder

2006-06-20T13:32:00.000-04:00

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13431328/
WASHINGTON - A Pentagon document classifies homosexuality as a mental disorder, decades after mental health experts abandoned that position.

The document outlines retirement or other discharge policies for service members with physical disabilities, and in a section on defects lists homosexuality alongside mental retardation and personality disorders.

Critics said the reference underscores the Pentagon’s failing policies on gays, and adds to a culture that has created uncertainty and insecurity around the treatment of homosexual service members, leading to anti-gay harassment.

Pentagon spokesman Lt. Col. Jeremy M. Martin said the policy document is under review.

The Pentagon has a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy that prohibits the military from inquiring about the sex lives of service members but requires discharges of those who openly acknowledge being gay.

Critics slam document

The Center for the Study of Sexual Minorities in the Military, at the University of California at Santa Barbara, uncovered the document and pointed to it as further proof that the military deserves failing grades for its treatment of gays.

Continued...

CSSMM Report card on the Department of Defense

6.18 Notable Quoteable

2006-06-18T08:46:00.000-04:00

I am reminded of a colleague who reiterated, "all my Homosexual patients are quite sick" - to which I finally replied "so are all my heterosexual patients."
—Ernest van den Haag, psychotherapist

Cup Fans Lose Trousers Over Sponsor Row

2006-06-18T08:44:00.000-04:00

Up to 1,000 Netherlands fans had to watch yesterday's World Cup win over Cote d'Ivoire in their underpants because of a sponsorship row, soccer's governing world body FIFA has confirmed.

A FIFA spokesman said the fans arrived at the stadium wearing trousers in their team's traditional orange and branded with the name of a Dutch brewery.

But the fans were denied entry because the American company which makes Budweiser beer had bought the exclusive rights to promote their brand in the stadium.

The fans duly removed their trousers and watched the match in their underpants.

World Cup 2006

2006-06-11T21:30:00.002-04:00

In honor of World Cup 2006 here are some fun Soccer Bloopers

10 flagrant grammar mistakes that make you look stupid

2006-06-11T21:15:00.000-04:00

http://whitepapers.zdnet.com/

Overview: Sending a less-than-perfect e-mail to a friend is one thing; mistakes aren't really a problem. But if you want to craft an error-free message that reflects your professionalism, be on the lookout for these common grammatical slip-ups.

Here's a fact of professional life: Your documents and online communications need to be competently written and free of mistakes. And here's another one: Even the least grammar-sensitive people are going to notice if you carelessly use "it's" when it should be "its" or "effect" instead of "affect." So along with spell-checking, add a little proofreading step to those communications that really need to be perfect. This list will help you zero in on the mistakes that are so easy to overlook.

This download is also available as an article.

6-9-06 Notable Quotable

2006-06-09T11:27:00.000-04:00

"I have opinions of my own --strong opinions-- but I don't always agree with them."
-George Bush

Bush on Gay Marriage Amendment

2006-06-07T12:34:00.000-04:00

Miss Stuck on Stupid
June 2006

6-02-06 Notable Quotable

2006-06-02T07:50:00.000-04:00

Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands? —Ernest Gaines

Sands of Iwo Jima

2006-05-31T22:04:00.000-04:00

(* #2 - - Notes of Interest)

May 31, 2006

Mr. Frederick R. Hill
Press Secretary
Office of Congressman Darrell Issa
211 Cannon Building
Washington, DC 20515

Hand Delivered

Dear Mr. Hill:

May I remind your office, that when you display the flag of the US Marine Corps in the halls of the US Congress, you are representing all of us. You cannot pick and choose which Marines you politically represent.

As discussed, I am returning your sands of Iwo Jima you presented to me the afternoon of the Beirut meeting at the US Capitol. I am a man of Honor and principle and cannot accept something of such importance like the Sands of Iwo Jima from someone, Congressman to janitor, who cannot adhere to the same values of the United States Marine Corps. Beirut Veterans bled the same blood as the Marines of Iwo Jima and that US Postage Stamp should be duly commissioned.

I remain,
Semper Fidelis

William G. Kibler

PS. Keep rubbing our Beirut honor coin, some of it may rub off on you some day.

cc: Gen. Michael Hagee, Commandant, United States Marine Corps

Memorial Day Weekend - All Gave Some ... Some Gave All

2006-05-28T17:59:00.001-04:00

In Memory of my Best Friend
Sgt. Lee Norton, USMC
Beirut Veteran

Lee, I miss you. Semper Fi

Memorial Day Weekend - Semper Fidelis

2006-05-28T17:46:00.000-04:00

I met up with PunchSC (Susan) from GoldStarSiblings.com , her mother and another Sibling/family, who is in town as her brother's national guard unit will be honored at tonties PBS Concert at the US Capitol and her USAF Major Military Escort. We did Arlington Cemetery Sunday.

At the end of our VIP tour, I coined the family liaison Air Force Major who turns out to be Lebanese and she damn near cried at the sight of the coin. "Of all the many coins, this one is the MOST special to me because of you Marines and what you did for my people." (kleenex moment)

Also, as I was leaving the Faces of the Fallen, I ran into Col Lockhart, Commanding Officer, Marine Barracks Washington, and coined him! I gave him extreme accolades from Fridays parade and Ode to Joy with Cannons which simply ROCKED!

(In the following pictures/blog entry, play count the Beirut Honor Coins... which I designed and selling as a fundraiser for American Gold Star Mothers)

Note: as I was uploading these pictures "All Gave Some, Some Gave All" came on the radio .. they're doing all patriotic songs while Rolling Thunder is going on. Please excuse any typs.

Section 59. Cedar of Lebanon Tree
Where 25 of the Beirut Bombing victims are burried

"Let Peace Take Root"
Flowers by Debbie Knipple-Peterson

Bill Kibler, Beirut Veteran

Eternal Flame
John F Kennedy's Grave

Susan (PunchSC)

"Punch-DC"

Faces of the Fallen Exhibit
facesofthefallen.org
(arranged by date of death)

Chance Phelps
If you havent read his story, grab a box of kleenex and hit this link

Cpl Jason Dunham
Medal of Honor nominee
www.giftofvalor.com (BUY THIS BOOK!!)

Pat Tillman

Cpl. Jason Dunham is next to Pat Tillman

Note: All 3 are in the same section, just rows apart, or side by side

Friday Notable Quotable

2006-05-26T08:48:00.000-04:00

In honor of Memorial Day

When I was in the military, they gave me a medal for killing two men, and a discharge for loving one.
- Leonard Matlovitch, USAF. Headstone in Congressional Cemetery, Washington, DC

Mark Saldana: "Terrorist"

2006-05-25T08:05:00.000-04:00

First Penguins... now Storks!

2006-05-24T06:47:00.000-04:00

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1853621.html?menu=news.quirkies
Gay storks make good parents

Four gay storks have proved they are as capable of raising a family as their heterosexual counterparts.

Staff at the zoo in Overloon, near Eindhoven, were unsure if the gay and lesbian storks would still have the same natural urge to raise offspring.

But after giving one egg to a pair of gay males to sit on, and another two eggs to a pair of lesbian storks, they say the gay storks took to parenthood straight away.

Zoo spokeswoman Esther Jansen said all three chicks had hatched successfully: "The gay storks look after the eggs and the chicks just as well as our heterosexual birds."

I've been busy

2006-05-24T06:35:00.000-04:00

I've been busy working on a new website for/about the Beirut Veteran. Basically, I emptied my bookmarks directory and put it on one website!

The average person thinks that the current War on Terror started on September 11, 2001 ... WRONG!

Department of Defense Commission Report:

"At approximately 0622 on Sunday, 23 Oct. 1983, the Battalion Landing Team headquarters building in the Marine Amphibious Unit compound at Beirut International Airport was destroyed by a terrorist bomb. The catastrophic attack took the lives of 241 Marines, sailors and soldiers and wounded more than 100 others. The bombing was carried out by one lone terrorist driving a yellow Mercedes Benz stake-bed truck that accelerated through the public parking lot south of the BLT headquarters building, where it exploded. The truck drove over the barbed and concertina wire obstacle, passed between two Marine guard posts without being engaged by fire, entered an open gate, passed around one sewer pipe barrier and between two others, flattened the Sergeant of the Guard's sandbagged booth at the building's entrance, penetrated the lobby of the building and detonated while the majority of the occupants slept. The force of the explosion [12,000 pounds] ripped the building from its foundation. The building then imploded upon itself. Almost all the occupants were crushed or trapped inside the wreckage."

Uh-huh...

2006-05-21T08:10:00.000-04:00

Another Bullseye - And this is just Los Angeles

2006-05-21T07:48:00.000-04:00

http://www.gilroydispatch.com/opinion/contentview.asp?c=186217

How Stupid is it to do Nothing About Illegal Aliens?

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Dear Editor,

So, according to Ms. Mary Jacinta Silva (letter 5/17) it's a stupid idea to use the National Guard to secure the border with Mexico. Well Ms.Silva, just how stupid is it to keep the illegal flood coming and reap consequences that will continue to get worse. From the researchers at the Los Angeles Times:

- 40 percent of all workers in L.A. County are working for cash and not paying taxes.

n 95 percent of all arrest warrants issued for murder in Los Angeles are for illegal aliens.

- 75 percent of people on L.A.'s most-wanted list are illegal aliens.

- Over two-thirds of all births are to illegal aliens on Medi-Cal whose births were paid for by the taxpayers.

- Nearly 25 percent of all inmates in California detention centers are here illegally.

- Nearly 60 percent of all occupants of HUD properties are illegal.

- Less than 2 percent of illegals are picking crops but 29 percent are on welfare.

- 29 percent of inmates in the federal prisons are illegal aliens.

- It cost Los Angeles $276 million in welfare costs for 100,000 children of illegal aliens.

A better question is "how stupid is it to do nothing while the flood of law breakers continues?" Answer: it's real stupid.

James Fennell, Gilroy

Thoughts to avoid getting Stuck on Stupid

2006-05-20T06:44:00.000-04:00

Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

If you lend someone $20 and never see them again, it was probably worth it.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

Never buy a car you can't push.

Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

The second mouse gets the cheese.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty, and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.

A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

Notable Quoteable

2006-05-19T07:56:00.000-04:00

"You could move." —Abigail Van Buren, "Dear Abby," in response to a reader who complained that a gay couple was moving in across the street and wanted to know what he could do to improve the quality of the neighborhood"

Random Thoughts

2006-05-19T07:46:00.000-04:00

When I first started this blog, I had visioned I'd be writing about all the stupid people I've encountered on a daily basis. A few weeks later, either people are getting smarter, or I'm not looking hard enough.

Sure, there have been impatient times, like going thru the self checkout at the grocery store when people with 10 items or less take more time as they just cant comprehend the scanning technique. 'Duh, just wave it over the damn glass, hear a beep and bag it. But nooooo.... something gets stuck on stupid.

People in traffic.. not worth even going there, too damn easy and not enough time, way too much material.

Look out though, I'm still watching...

Parrot Video

2006-05-17T07:12:00.000-04:00

(Press the start button)

What did he say?

2006-05-16T23:03:00.000-04:00

We've successfully changed his name from Ying-Yang to Tux over the past few days.

The funniest moment thus far, came when Odie was inside his cage on the bottom chewing on a wooden toy, and Tux was curious as to what was going on up there. So Tux gets on his hind legs to stand up and peek in. Odie comes over and said "Hiiiiiiigh" causing Tux to literally jump up in mid air, turn 90 degrees in the same motion, and hall ass to the other side of the room. It's been fun ever since. Im not worried, Odie can hold his own and is used to cats his entire 20 years of being with me. It's Tux im worried about. They've had their few introductions, and when Odie is out, Tux doesnt go near the cage, but when Odie is safely inside, that's when the "What's he sayin?" game starts.....

My New Roommate Arrived

2006-05-15T07:47:00.000-04:00

The Stork arrived Saturday evening bringing with it, "Ying-Yang", a 1.5 year old male cat with all the shots, snips, and tucks with it. He's a fun cat, very affectionate, and still in the welcome to the new diggs mode. Missy on the other hand isn't taking the news the best I thought she would, having just lost her brother to a tumor. They've been hissing, but no knock down cat fights thusfar.

I adopted him via Petfinder.com thru a local adoption agency who places cats/dogs based on what your needs and the cats personalities are.
This is Missy a few years ago. I guess I could rename them Salt N' Pepper, nah. But do like "Tux" over Ying-Yang....
I/we still miss Danny....

Happy Mothers Day!!

2006-05-14T15:27:00.000-04:00

Caption Contest!

2006-05-13T15:10:00.000-04:00

Enter your photo caption in the comments section!

Military Bloopers (What goes up, damn sure comes down...)

2006-05-13T07:38:00.000-04:00

I'm dedicating this video to my good friends Bill Yontz and Lefty, both Beirut Veterans. (Bill was a truck driver, and Lefty was force recon. Not sure if that's him at the very end or not...) I know first hand what happens when your chute doesn't open when you push a pallet of C-Rats out the back of a perfectly good aircraft at a decent altitiude over Turkey. A tall can of spaghetti ends up being the size of a can of tuna in no time flat(no pun intended...)

(Hit the Play Button)

Say Cheese! No wait... Smile!

2006-05-13T07:26:00.000-04:00

This explains a lot...

More than 60 percent of Britons use items such as screwdrivers, scissors and earrings to remove food from between their teeth, according to a survey published Friday.

The National Dental Survey found that, when it came to oral hygiene, people used whatever was close to hand to pick their teeth.

More than 60 percent questioned by the British Dental Health Foundation said they used makeshift items, including knives, keys, needles and forks.

The survey also found that 23 percent of people chose to leave food stuck between their teeth, increasing the risk of gum disease and bad breath, according to the foundation which promotes oral health.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060512/od_nm/britain_teeth_dc_2

NEW HARRIS POLL: BUSH HITS 29% APPROVAL RATING

2006-05-11T23:49:00.000-04:00

Bush’s Approval Rating Drops

President Bush’s job-approval rating has fallen to its lowest mark of his presidency, according to a new Harris Interactive poll. Of 1,003 U.S. adults surveyed in a telephone poll, 29% think Mr. Bush is doing an “excellent or pretty good” job as president, down from 35% in April and significantly lower than 43% in January.

Roughly one-quarter of U.S. adults say “things in the country are going in the right direction,” while 69% say “things have pretty seriously gotten off on the wrong track.” This trend has declined every month since January, when 33% said the nation was heading in the right direction. Iraq remains a key concern for the general public, as 28% of Americans said they consider Iraq to be one of the top two most important issues the government should address, up from 23% in April. The immigration debate also prompted 16% of Americans to consider it a top issue, down from 19% last month, but still sharply higher from 4% in March.

The Harris poll comes two days after a downbeat assessement of Bush in a New York Times/CBS News poll. The Times, in analyzing the results, said “Americans have a bleaker view of the country’s direction than at any time in more than two decades.”

Credit:
http://blogs.wsj.com/washwire/2006/05/11/bushs-approval-ratings/

Notable Quotable

2006-05-11T22:05:00.000-04:00

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we,
They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country
and our people, and neither do we."

George W. Bush, 8/05/2004

Our Government.. Stuck On Stupid

2006-05-11T17:57:00.000-04:00

This guy just nailed it. Rung the bell. Home Run. Bullseye. Center Mass...

"Think of it. Our government hears our outrage over rising gas prices, and tells us they are going to do something about it! "Good!!" We Americans exclaim, yet our government, having promised us a job well done, does nothing that will actually alleviate high gas prices. "

"Do they cut the federal and state taxes, which add tremendously to what we pay at the pump? No! Do they immediately allow drilling in Alaska, and off both US coasts? NO! Do they ease some useless restrictions and open more refineries? No! In fact, all they do is point their fingers and try to pass the blame to greedy big oil companies. They talk about price controls, windfall profits taxes, or laws that would force the oil companies to invest in exploring alternative energy sources. "
[It gets much better...!]

Continued...
http://www.renewamerica.us/columns/hagin/060510

Stupid In America

2006-05-11T06:44:00.000-04:00

"The nation’s schools and the job they’re doing…or not doing…are back in the news.

"A few weeks ago, ABC’s John Stossell did a special report on 20-20 called Stupid in America…accusing the nation’s public school system of not properly educating their students."
"And now there’s new evidence to back him up."
Continued...
http://www.cbs47.tv/news/news_commentary/story.aspx?content_id=D7D703B8-9B37-44F8-99FC-E290D4C140F8

Oh sure.. blame the teachers. (As if they don't get paid shit wages to begin with...)

In Memoriam

2006-05-10T08:51:00.000-04:00

Danny
4/96 - 5/10/06

I just got back from having to put Danny to sleep. He developed a tumor last month that quickly spread and his sister woke me up this morning trying to alert me that something was wrong. I found him laying in the kitchen unable to stand up. Funny how pets communicate like that.

"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this." ~ Anonymous
"There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast." - Unknown

Well it was <--- THIS ---> Big!!

2006-05-08T13:32:00.000-04:00

The newest controversy in the White House is if Bush cought a perch or a bass in his lake when quoted in the German Media BILD when Kai Diekmann asked about his high point since becoming president in January 2001.

"I would say the best moment of all was when I caught a 7.5 pound perch in my lake," he told the newspaper in an interview published on Sunday.

It turns out that on the Stacy Taylor show on KLSD-AM in San Diego, who reported that the only problem is that the world's record for the largest freshwater perch caught is 4 pounds 3 ounces.

Check out this ice skater!

2006-05-08T08:24:00.000-04:00

(Push the Play button!)

Being Stupid... it could cost you your job

2006-05-08T07:51:00.000-04:00

The following is a Public Service Announcement brought to you from the webmaster at GayDC.Net (AKA me!):

"Sadly, innate stupidity isn't a firing offense. It's the brilliant things stupid people do that get them canned."

"In New York, Mayor Michael Bloomberg recently fired a city employee for playing solitaire on his computer at work during business hours. Bloomberg, who made a fortune by building the premier real-time financial newswire from scratch, is obviously a futzy traditionalist who believes workers should, you know, work."

Continued ...
http://www.rediff.com/money/2006/may/08forbes.htm

Family Kicked Out of AYCE Buffet Restaurant

2006-05-07T10:50:00.000-04:00

DES MOINES, Iowa - Wendy Dershem may think twice before leaving that egg roll on her plate at her next Chinese buffet. The Des Moines woman, her boyfriend and her two children were kicked out of a restaurant last week after management accused her of leaving too much food on her plate.

"They told us we are not welcome there anymore," said Dershem, a repeat customer at the Dragon House buffet. "We waste too much food. But the buffet is all you can eat. And you know kids. They won't always eat everything and they want something else."
Continued... http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/ap_on_fe_st/buffet_debacle

About a month ago, I went to one of these "All-You-Can-Hold-Down for $7.95" places as I was in the mood for chineese food, but couldn’t make up my mind what I wanted to eat. Buffet sounded good.

The table at 2:00 from me was the type of couple you’d see driving a jaguar with the top down on a lazy sunny afternoon. Only this guys table manners were simply atrocious. All he was consuming was crab legs. No dim sum, no egg rolls, JUST crab legs. And I’m not talking about just casually with conversation to the person across from him, mind you. This guy was literally inhaling them. Nonstop. His goal that day was to rid the Chesapeake Bay of any and all crabs. I am not shitting you…! By the time I finished my first plate of assorted chineese food, (he had already emptied the tray of crab legs before me), he had been thru EIGHT plates of crab legs. Also note of interest, I was not the only one who kept noticing his disgusting habit. Everyone around him politely kept their reactions to a minimum as he’d leap up from the table as a new tray was being brought out refilling the crab leg bin.

So there I sit like a cougar about to attack my prey, I waited till I saw the kitchen door open with a refill of crab legs entering the ring where the matador was sitting. I saw him twitch, his fingers barely touching his plate, when I suddenly LEAP UP from where I’m sitting and yell at him with that ever so well known Marine Corps voice: “EXCUSE ME SIR, NOT THIS TIME, …THE REST OF US HERE WOULD LIKE SOME, KINDLY RETURN TO YOUR SEAT AND DIGEST FOR A MOMENT. THANK YOU” and I proceeded to go get me some freshly prepared crab legs. (Several others joined me after the applause subdued.)